DISCLAIMER:
Am not writing and sharing these words with you because I’ve attained, nah! I'm still
struggling day & night to be better. Am a work in progress.
This article focuses on
FOUR very pressing everyday matters.
A lot of ladies and few
guys have been sending me private messages, so, with the little experience I had,
I’ve muscled up courage to make a statement.
“INTERNET DATING OR FRIENDSHIP IS NOT FOR
EVERYONE”
Internet based healthy Friendships? YES! But internet
based Relationships? A gigantic NO. no no no! If there is no meeting and
getting to know each other, there is no relationship. Please keep your
distance, if it persist, block or deactivate your account for a while and come
back [it’s my opinion, you could have better].
“Never ever exchange
the stress of meeting with the comfort of just sending messages or calls across
[hope I communicated that well]”
You can never know a
person by mere text messages, Skype and phone calls. Imagine me saying these
words;
“Daww!
I don’t care what you think”
I'm sure
of you would say that was very rude, or unkind, well, some of the very easy
going people would read this as funny, like the way JENIFA in naija movie would
say. Same words but different perception/interpretation.
Sometimes, you could
come out as very strong meanwhile; you’re just being funny or shy. You could
also just be very expressive and straight forward but be looked as being
controlling, authoritative and so on. All these kind of misconceptions or
misinterpretations could be avoided if only you both would meet and see the
expressions on the face and lips, next time, when you receive a message from
that person, you’ll be better informed.
Most times, this
internet dating shenanigans happens when we are at a very vulnerable state,
some just came out of a broken relationship and in a bid to find peace, tend
to just jump into the hands of the one who shows us a little bit of care. But then,
the truth is, you’ll always mess things up, because at that time, you may be
too sensitive, controlling and restless. You may never have known that you
were really hurt by the last one that you may take out scary actions on the
maybe gentleman or lady seeking friendship with you. And when things turn out bad,
you rush to conclude that relationships are not for you, or you’re being punished
for sins known or unknown or eve your village witches may be on your matter.
Silly thoughts. Calm down, and heal. [ensure you seek peace and move-on]
“A Break Up Is Not the Second Chance to Jump into
another Relationship But A Second Chance to Gain Knowledge”
Another thing is, never discuss an issue or conflict
via text or calls, be patient enough to meet and then, face to face, you too can’t
resolve the issue. [Am personally working on this aspect too]
“ASSUMPTION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL MISFORTUNES”
Now this issue here is something even I myself need
serious work on,because, I'm not perfect. Until you have tangible prove to
something, never assume, never ever assume you know that thing. If a word has
not been said, never assume that’s what that gesture means. Always clarify
before jumping into conclusions or you’ll make haste and mess things up.
Never assume a friendship; never assume a
relationship or engagement to the point of assuming you both are married. Define
every relationship. Know your stand in everything. How many more broken hearts
can we handle, enough with the “I thought” and let’s get on with “I know”.
“BEWARE OF SLEEK MEN”
This here, is a major problem were all facing. It’s like a demonic
season, bad breeze. Why am I saying this? Or how do I know? A short story,
I was sitting with some friends, and something led to something [you
know how e ladies are now], that’s when I saw the look of disappointment and resentment
on the face of these 8 ladies, that’s when everyone opened up to discuss and I was
astonished, all these women have fallen victims of this very strange men. The definition
of sleek men here refers to Men in serious relationships, engaged men and
married say. Say a capital NO to these sets. They are very deceitful, cunning and
they don’t mean well for you. While you’re there being honest, they would let
you believe they’re very much single, only for you to give your heart and later
find out they all have women in their lives [I really feel sorry for such women
ending up with such cunning men, I don’t envy them, praying God would strengthen
them].
“Haba Men! What’s the joy leading a lady on
and later breaking her heart, if you think you’ll go unpunished by her;
remember a diariz God o, woman’s cry to the throne of God sends him into
immediate action__ think about that”
Ladies don’t assume, make inquiries, wisely send in your head hunters
and when with all the facts and prove, just be patient [because at this time, you'll have great Adrenalin rush, you just want to slam it o his face], don’t haste the insults, be
civil in your actions and relate the issue with him then block him out for good
[trust me, it’ll help]. Please don’t give room to be used by them to disrespect
their women and destroy your glorious future [you reap what you sow]. Don’t sow
bad seeds. You are worth more than they can handle. They are nothing but side
distractions to a glorious relationship God has set for you. Please don’t destroy
any woman’s happiness or home just for your own selfish desires. If you’re a man
reading this, and you’re into all these cunning/lying and deceitful acts, I pray
God would arrest you and bring you back to his feet of mercy. REPENT!
“BE PATIENT FOR GOD TO LEAD YOU TO YOUR RIGHT
SPOUSE”
Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess
in a big beautiful castle….heiho! Zip-zip-zip….’stories that touch’…let’s take
a break here.
There is no once upon a time…isn’t that our main
issue in this 21st century?! Everyone lady wants a white and shining-all-built-prince-charming;
whereas on the other hand, Men want what they want [whatever that means].
All this misconception has driving most of us to point where at the end of
every “relationship” journey; we meet with a huge sum of disappointments.
But let’s ask ourselves this, who is really to
blame? Is it the “disappointer” or “disappointee”? Let’s figure that out.
First, have you ever wondered what the world would
be like if we all had the ability to see into the future 5-10 years from now?
Wow! Like most of us wouldn’t be the way we are, we wouldn’t be all so falling
and hardened by life’s experiences.
We would have known that the lady or man were so
hell bent on was actually some else’s spouse, we would or wouldn’t have taken
that job, made that move, said those words, and the list goes on.
You may have been disappointed countless times,
promises were made, most times it was assumed, but it all went down flat, nothing
became of it. You just hold on, a positive 10 times better version of your last
is going to show up.
Haven’t you read that “your latter would be greater
than your former”?
If you know you deserve the best in life, then don’t
rush and settle for less in anything. Hold-on. It’s fun to be positively expectant. Don’t
let anyone fool you with the words;
“You can’t live without me” or “if you live me I’ll
die” shoouu! Are you the Holy Spirit?! My dear, that’s your gate pass, walk out
fast, don’t turn back or you’ll end up a pillar of salt, a monument of pity.
Flee!
Everyone I know wants to be in a relationship, a
successful one with the best. Well, just as beauty lies in the eyes of the
beholder, so does the word “best”.
Haven’t
you heard “one man’s food is another man’s poison?”
Don’t be fooled. Not everyone is happy. Rather than
wishing you could be like your friends who seem happy in their relationship
just because you saw airbrushed pictures of them looking tushed, why not wish
you could see what truly happens behind closed doors?! You’ll be shocked.
Relationships may be eye closers, but marriage is an
eye opener, why not wait patiently for God’s choice for you, at least even if
trouble crops up, you have someone to report to, a diagnostic center who can
scan and fix things.
“Wisdom is the principal thing”
I would close with the words of Pastor Sam Adeyemi;
“Your
greatest asset in finding someone to marry is your ability to hear from God.
Nobody can predict the future except God. Take time to pray. If you must avoid
disappointments, you need be spiritually matured”
Once your future is defined, your relationship and
everything else is defined. Don’t use natural phenomenon or circumstances to
decide on whom to settle for. You may make a big mistake; things wouldn’t
remain the way they are now. Pray and seek God’s face, and just like Moses’ mother
in the bible who perceived that her son was a beautiful child and hid him, you
also have the ability to perceive 5-10years into a Lady or Man’s future and
know what sup.
These words are powerful if only you’ll take hid to
it now [Hey! Am doing same too]. I sincerely pray you experience peace, love
and joy in your relationship and every facet of life. Shalom!
