The 21st century has proving to be more difficult than
men thought it would, I can say so because I’ve had opportunities even with the
little adult years I’ve spent to interact with them and find out certain things
which am going to share with you. Ladies have also become more
devastated as to what on earth men need from them other than the usual insane
rubric list they’ve been throwing around. Back in 2010, at a living light
women’s retreat, I had the opportunity to present a paper titled “what every
Godly man seeks in a Godly Woman” which was my first writing article, fast
forward to 2012, I also had the privileged to speak on “womanhood” at a program
titled “face to face; relationship and finance” {totally mind blowing hosted by Pastor whyte Tanko, Mr.
Ejimi A., Apostle Joshua Selman and pastor Manasseh Dogon}, so I believe with
this, the information your about to read is valid, Updated and it sure works
when applied/adhered to accordingly.
“Single 27-year-old male, searching for a life-partner. Her best
qualities must be external appearance and sexual appeal. Superficiality is
welcomed. Preferably someone who is lacking in goals, neglective of dreams and
aimless in direction to allow for me to become center stage. Would prefer to
keep conversation entirely shallow—limited to pop culture and materialism.”---
[source of this story: author jarred Wilson]
I can pretty much guarantee without reasonable doubt that a
statement like this wouldn’t draw much attention from females’ yea? In fact, if
this were an actual “TRUTH”, it would make most of us ladies flinch i.e to say,
very uncomfortable.
However, the ironic thing is that though this statement seems so
irreverent and disrespectful, it is often these very lies we are fed through
movies [all the ‘woods’], secular music and pop-culture as the way to a man’s
heart. And many times we ladies believe those lies and try to measure up to a
standard we were never meant to follow.
Just as we ladies are not satisfied in defining a real man by his
muscle mass and sex drive [read blog post “real men” or real men], real men are
shifting their perception of what they are looking for in a woman. As women,
we’re often told that our value and the quality of our relationships are
directly tied to our sex appeal. But I believe sex appeal has little value in
the equation of a healthy and meaningful relationship, yea?
I made an attempt to list out #10 qualities a Godly man seek in Godly woman
DISCLAIMER: I am not stating all these virtues because I have mastered
them, please kindly note that i am also building and working on myself every day.
#1 REAL
It’s sometimes hard to believe being “real” is attractive to a
man. It’s easy for women to look at the billboards and magazines that fill our
minds with airbrushed beauty and enhanced bodies and think that being “real”
makes you less than the others.
But I’ve found that real men are attracted to a woman who reveals
her natural self.
This “realness” manifests itself partially in physical ways.
Obviously, looking good is not a bad thing, but there is something about the
beauty of a real woman that far exceeds the plastic Barbie version of ourselves
so many women strive for and believe in.
Of course, Real men are not simply looking for a woman who is real
with her appearance, but real with who she is. When it comes to attracting a
real man, there is no need to pretend. They’re not looking for a woman who
pretends to be into sports, cars, sex or anything else she thinks her man
wants. They are looking for a woman to be fully herself—personality, quirks,
deficits and all. Ladies, these are the things that make you unique and set you
apart from every other woman.
#2 SUBMISSIVE
Before we go any further, dear ladies, this is a commandment, ‘thou
shall submit’? Yea! Am sure you recall. Any lady who displays humility is not
too far from being submissive. Now let’s get this, submission is not weakness,
submission is the ability to put your strength as a woman under control. Yes I
know it’s very hard, like, why do we need to feel like second class citizens? “Go
here, yes sir! Come back, yes sir!” all in the name of being “submissive” … Jhehehe!
Now ladies let’s not drag this [read blog post ’10 qualities to seek in a Godly
man’], I can assure you that when you’re in a relationship {or marriage} with a
Real man, the subject of ‘overly-controlling’ would never be an issue. So take
it from me, they want a submissive lady, and in doing so, apply wisdom too
[read blog post ‘#3 things ladies fail to reserve’]. Pray and fast until this
quality becomes your nature.
#3 CONFIDENCE
“THERE
IS SOMETHING ABOUT A CONFIDENT WOMAN THAT EXUDES BEAUTY AND ATTRACTION TO A
MAN”
A woman who is confident knows who she is and what she believes,
and holds onto that in her interactions with others. She believes in herself,
and knows she is valuable standing alone. She’s not defined by her relationship
status, her physical appearance or her sex appeal.
She doesn’t buy into the lies that her value is dependent on what
she does, but rather, who she is. Because a woman of confidence is aware that
her value is rooted in nothing else but who she is in Christ, there is no need
to flirt around or flaunt her stuff.
Flirting and flaunting will definitely attract a certain type of
man to your side, but you’ll have to keep flirting and keep flaunting your
entire life to keep his interest. A real man will be attracted to you because
of who you are, not what you have to offer him. And just continuing to be
yourself will be all you need to do to keep him there. That’s what healthy
relationships are meant to be.
#4 HOSPITABLE
This is a woman’s ability to be friendly, welcoming, accommodating
and generous to guest or strangers. Mark these words,
“NO REAL
MAN WANTS A WOMAN WITH A BAD CONTENANCE”
Always frowning [well some of us don’t actually frown, just that
we have a strong look. Wwhich we can work on with God’s help]. As
a lady, except to plan to be an ogre and put a sign post like Shrek, you must
be hospitable. Let him know he can invite his friends over or at least
introduce you to them. Like Sarah in the bible, be a woman of good countenance because
you may never know when you’ll entertain angels. Your strong looks would not scare
other ladies away, so quit the act.
#5 TEACHABLE
As a lady, you must be teachable, be ever willing to learn new
things, not just from him but from anyone, young or old. I know we ladies have
so much to say, a Real man say’s 10 and were already on 200 and still counting…
J hehehe![guilty]. When you find yourself in a public place,
learn to be quiet and listen more. When he is talking, learn to keep calm and
listen more, even if what he’s saying doesn’t make sense, just listen. Be
willing to hear him out and learn from him. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
#6 RESPECTFUL
Ah hah! The word explains itself. Real Men are seeking for woman
who can respect them. Respect in itself is not far from a woman’s ability to
submit. Mark these words,
“MEN
RESPECT LADIES ABOVE THEM, THEY HONOUR LADIES BELOW THEM AND THEY FIGHT LADIES
WHO CLAIM EQUALITY WITH THEM”
So if you want a Godly man, acquire this virtue through prayers
and God would grant your request.
#7 GIVING/CHARITABLE
Even though this is abit ironic to their nature i.e Real Men, because
they tend to be more money minded than we are as regards careless spending but
they totally dislike a lady who hurdles money or is stingy, be it to God,
herself, himself or the public. Please ladies, learn to be a giver. Let him
know that even after the wedding you’re willing to contribute your share in the
family’s finance without him cajoling or commanding you. Real men Give to
charity organizations, sow seeds, pay your tithe, give beggars when they ask,
be a giver and watch him take an oath to marry you.
#8 PLAYFUL
Awe! Don’t Real Men just want to play around, even
as a child, boys always want to play. You have to make up your mind to be his
playmate or watch another lady do that for you. No matter how busy a Real man
may be, he totally wants a woman he can play with when he returns from a hectic
day. So ladies, drop the whole serious ‘formal’ act and play, laugh, crack
jokes with him, just humour him, they totally dig that.
#9 ATTRACTIVE
Most men will tell you it’s important for them to be attracted to
their significant other. But sometimes we as women misinterpret this to think
that the way to a man’s heart is by achieving supermodel status. We beat
ourselves up emotionally, physically and mentally trying to fit into a mold we
were never meant to fill.
To a real man, beauty and attraction are defined by so much more
than physical appearance. I’ve met tons of men who are completely turned off by
women who are gorgeous on the outside, but hollow on the inside.
Real men are looking for a woman who displays true beauty, a
beauty that cannot be enhanced, made up or airbrushed. They are looking for a
woman who resonates with the beauty of kindness, compassion, humor, strength,
love, joy and gentleness.
Believe it or not, real men are more interested in the size of a
woman’s heart and mind than the size of her waist. It’s ironic then, that our
society pressures women into keeping their focus on the external—the things
that matter very little at the end of every relationship.
#10 PASSIONATE
Let me clarify: There is a huge difference between a passionate
woman and an overly emotional woman. The first is the kind men flock to, the
latter is the type they run away from and never look back.
“REAL MEN ARE LOOKING FOR REAL WOMEN WHO WILL REFLECT TO THEM THE QUALITIES OF A LOVING GOD.”
If there is one thing that I hear again and again from men, is
that women need to be less emotionally driven. This may be a gender stereotype,
but as much as I hate to admit it, they might be on to something. Emotions are
such a valuable part of human beings, for men and women alike. But a huge
problem arises when we ladies (or men) let our emotions take the lead. It’s
important for us to be driven by what we know and balanced by what we feel.
Feelings alone should never lead the way.
But now that we’ve discussed what passion isn’t, here’s what it
is: Being passionate means living a life that is purposeful, allowing your
heart and life to be guided by things that are meaningful and invested in
things that are good. It means having goals, believing in dreams and holding on
to your values. It means being defined and propelled by justice, mercy,
forgiveness, charity and grace. It means striving for healing in your own life
and in the world around you.
Living a life of passion is important, because that passion will
seep into every part of your life—relationships included.
EXTRA
BONUS: SINGLE
Having listed the entire above #10 “virtue” ultimate searches,
they’ll all not make any sense if you are still clinging to an old relationship
that is probably over so define your status properly because all these
qualities apply to a man searching for a Godly lady who is still single so he
can build a life with her. Although not that once your married you fling all to
the gutters but am sure you understand what I mean… J hehehe!
It’s time to redefine the
qualities we as women think we need to have to impress a man. It’s time to also
say no to the draw of sex appeal and begin to believe true admiration from men
to women comes only when we begin to respect ourselves. It’s time we learn to
acquire other virtues such as being submissive, teachable, hospitable,
appreciative, respectful, playful, and charitable. Real men are looking for
real women who will reflect to them the qualities of a loving God—a God who has
made us to be confident, passionate, genuine—and beautiful in every way. May we
as women strive to reflect Him in all that we do. Amen!
Until next post, yours sincerely
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