Recently took out time to watch a movie with a friend of mine, titled
“baggage claim”. The movie got me thinking really
hard and so am sharing what I learnt from it, but most importantly, the book of
Genesis chapter 2 forms the theoretical framework for this blog-post.
Who can find a faithful man?
The stories of how men have
dealt mercilessly with women keeps ringing over and over again in our heads as
ladies, this has left us scared and frustrated, some have turned feminist overnight
all in fear of falling into wrong hands.
Ladies are more drawn to men who ignore and care-less for
them, while the one who calls, sends SMS/e-mails, pings etc. are termed
“sissys”
This saying happens to be
true at first i.e to say, most single ladies are drawn to such category of men,
but hold-up because the moment were in a relationship? There’s no room for
such, If you think am kidding then try it out and be sure to receive unending
complaints of how incompetent you are as a man in the relationship.
“a
lady walks into a room full of men, 11 of them happen to be of average looks,
blue-collard workers but they take a pause to appreciate her beauty, throwing
complements and kind gestures, the lady on the other hand, chin-up walks pass
them ignoring all 11 and focuses on the one “super-hot fine looking gentleman”
who didn’t even raise an eye brow. Now that’s the man she rather hooks up with”
I totally understand when a
lady say’s it’s hard to find a good man, {in my opinion, its best that way, so you’ll cherish
him when you find him} although I don’t agree with the slogan of “all men are the same” or “all men are dogs.
As a lady you may have been
asking how do I identify my prince charming/Mr. right/ {hulk?}, how can i spot
out the right man amidst the 12 men seated? What qualities do i look for in a
man? Or Am already in a relationship, does this apply to me too? Yes it does.
I have made an attempt to
point out 10 qualities you as a Godly lady
need look out for in a man before accepting his offer for a relationship or before
saying the Golden word “I DO” and I believe
that with this you’re sure to be in good hands, be reminded that you can’t pick
up one quality and do away with the other, they all must go together, yea!
Don’t give me that look, they all must go together.
1. A man in God’s presence
Putting this into a spiritual
context, Godly women should yearn for a man who is frequently exercising his
spiritual muscles. Let’s take an example from Adam in Genesis 2, the bible
clearly stated that Adam was constantly in the presence of God, so to link it
up with today’s world, Maybe he attends a bible class, midweek service, home
group, or even a men’s Bible Study. Regardless of what his spiritual workouts
looks like, any woman who is seeking a Godly man should find someone who is
constantly refining his relationship with Christ.
2. Calm and collective
Proverbs 14:29
states, “If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only
show how stupid you are.”
Yea! Just as we have “drama
queens”, we also have “drama kings”. A woman after God should always seek a man
who can collect his temper, hold his anger, and constantly seek to stay calm a
midst trials and tribulations.
3. A leader with a Godly
purpose
Napoleon Bonaparte once said,
“A leader is a dealer in hope.” And
while I understand that not every man is destined to be a world-renown leader,
I do believe that each individual man in this world has a leadership role to
fulfill within a marriage. Whether this role is filled by helping make big
decisions, managing finances or even leading the family spiritually, every man
is called to be a leader. Seek a man who has understood his purpose in God and
is zealous about it, a man with a mandate and is already doing so, but he
should also empower you to pursue yours. Ladies please seek a man who is
passionate about life, his calling, and his marriage; it would do you a whole
lot of good.
4. A trustworthy soul
He should inspire
trustworthiness within you. If you don’t seek a man you can trust, you’ll
probably end up making him as bitter as you’ll make yourself. Not
worth it. If you can’t find a man you can trust, you should probably take
some time away from pursuing. If there’s good reason not to
trust him, don’t even think about pursuing a relationship with him.
5. Selfless
He should care about others
more than he cares about himself. Look at the way he treats your family and
your friends. If he’s not close with his family, and doesn’t have any close
friend, that’s probably a red flag dear, I advise you flee. Some questions to
ask yourself: Does he care about the needy? Does he go out and volunteer where it’s
needed? Is he willing to give up the shirt off his back for someone in need? Or
is it always the, “I love you” talk? These are
important characteristics to consider when looking for a man to spend your life
with.
6. Forgiving
This is something you should not ignore. Don’t reach for a
man who is unlikely to forgive, and when I say forgiving, I totally mean him
not forgiving you till after like 2years or cutting off/withdrawing from you entirely and
later coming back, trust me he’ll act that same way after marriage. Ladies
the last thing you want is to be in a relationship with someone who holds
resentment for mistakes, issues, and misunderstandings. A forgiving man is a
Godly man. Seek a man who showcases the same love and grace as Jesus.
7. Loving
This happens to be the
bravest and greatest of all, because you see ladies, it’s not all about you
loving him or having the notion that you’ll teach him how to love you {beauty
and the beast animation lied, that’s why you keep having heart breaks} you are
not the Holy spirit. Let’s also see what 1 John 4:8 says,
“But anyone who
does not love does not know God, for God is love.”
From here I can conclude that
any man, who truly loves God, is a man who loves without limitations. Women look
for someone who is willing to showcase love no matter the circumstance. You don’t
want to get caught in a relationship with someone who acts like showing love is worse than pulling teeth.
8. A good reputation
Proverbs 22:1
states, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is
better than silver or gold.”
And while many people might not necessarily agree, I believe any
God-fearing woman/lady should desire to seek a man whose reputation is always
kept under control. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own
opinion, but joining with a man whose reputation has fallen for a reason is
something you should think twice about before accepting. Seek to be with a man
who gets raving compliments when his name is brought up mid-conversation and
need I add that by good reputation, am not saying he should have good
reputation at every liquor/pepper soup joint, strip-bars or clubs in town, I
mean places like in church, with regards his ministry, his home, or his work
place.
9. A man who can cultivate you
With reference to Adam at the Garden of Eden, before Eve was brought
into his life as a companion, Adam tended to the garden; he cultivated it
properly just as instructed by God. So dear ladies seek to be with a man who
can cultivate you, a man who can/would bring out the best in you. Flee from all
the Gold-diggers who are looking for "finished women", I mean does that word even exist? Seek a man who is willing to take you out from scrap and turn you into
the kind of woman he wants, be it that you are fat, thin, jobless, “fashionless”
and all the less, if he keeps nagging about this, flee I say. If you notice him
to be this way, don’t say he’s just being a man always blunt, my dear, don’t
accept his offer, flee.
10. A man with a real job
However you wish to see it, am ending with
this beautiful statement, ladies seek a man with a real job. Dear ministers of
God, I know God is Jehovah jireh and he is faithful to his word, but nobi that
we go chop nah {meaning that’s not what we would eat in Nigerian pidgin}.
Ladies do not be deceived by all those lies; the lord has called us all as
workers in his vineyard, so that shouldn’t be a reason to why you should
accept. Abraham had properties before telling Sarah to follow him to where God
was taking him. Isaac showed Rebecca his camels which she fed; let him show you
his camels. Be it that his a musical artist, a movie artist, a professional in
whatever field, tell him to declare his asset(s) to you. Don’t pretend to be
uninterested in his financial status just because you don’t want to look like a
“gold digger or a materialist”, if you ignore the warning signs, sooner than
later your eye’s would open, reality.com. You have no idea of what lack of finance
can do in a marriage, don’t allow yourself find out, learn from the experience
of others.
Adam had a job description and he darn well
fulfilled them before God brought eve into his life. So like Myles Munroe, I’ll
say this, if the man isn’t in God’s presence, if he isn’t
working, if he cannot cultivate, teach or protect you? IT IS GOOD FOR THAT MAN TO BE ALONE.
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