Sunday, March 16, 2014

#5 COMMITMENT ISSUES TO DEAL WITH



Stop >  ready > WAIT A MINUTE? 

CAR ‘A is on the move to a set destination, gets to a junction and the traffic light turns RED reading 60secs, the lights then turn YELLOW, patiently waiting the lights then turn GREEN, and it’s a ‘go go go’! But then CAR ‘B in front refuses to move, CAR ‘A keeps honing and nothing K [well I’ll let you decide the end yea?J]
CAR ‘A is what I chose to call “GREEN LIGHTERS”, these describes people who are set to commit to a relationship, but my interest is in CAR ‘B, because this expressively describes the situation in which some people find themselves whenever the topic of commitment is raised, I call them the “YELLOW LIGHTERS”


CAUTION!!!
DONOT assume you know where this is heading towards, it’s completely different from my previous usual “celebrate your singleness” blog post [not that you shouldn’t celebrate but please refer previous blog post “I prefer you remain single”J]

This article is for those who deep within are struggling with the issue of “commitment”. They are strong, Godly, successful, of AGE, educated, what every man/woman would term a “TOTAL SCORE” but yet they are as single as single can be. One would often wonder what the problem really is, not forgetting to mention the positive advances/signals from the opposite sex, yet they remain “YELLOW LIGHTERS”.

?I made an attempt to highlight #5 key points as to why ‘commitment’ is such an issue to these “YELLOW LIGHTERS” and at the same time proffer solutions which is from a personal perspective and ultimately the word of God. Please note that, not all #5 may apply but I bet #1 or #2 would [J hehehe].

1.  TRAPPED

The issue of feeling trapped is a major for some “YELLOW LIGHTERS”. You may have stayed single for at least 2-3years, now you’re ready> set and all of a sudden you can’t breathe L, you feel clustered, choked, trapped, it’s more like trying to breath under water [am sure you get my gist yea? J]. You just feel this special someone is going to take away the very freedom you’ve nurtured all these years. If this describes you, then you need serious prayer and fasting [J hehehe just kidding]. The truth is, when it comes to committing to a relationship? You must do away with the word ‘trapped’, it should never exist. There’s nothing as beautiful as loving a person wholeheartedly and being loved back in return, it’s a whole new level of freedom you’ve got to experience. Take a look at this math;

Jesus Died For Love + This Love = Freedom
So If You Have Jesus + Express This Love to A Fellow Human = Total Freedom. 
[Capich? J hehehe yea, it doesn’t make any sense, well am no mathematician, but am sure you get my gist]

Always remind yourself that the relationship is not about you, but about the significant other and what you can offer. So whenever the feeling of being trapped overwhelms you, bow your head in prayers and say;
“I refuse the feeling of being trapped, I would not be trapped, am moving into total freedom and this relationship would express the kind of pure genuine love Jesus demonstrated. AMEN”

2.  FEAR
“Driving is risky, but taking your hands of the steering wheels is daring” J
Learning to take risk in life is a daily activity we often find ourselves doing, so am thinking why can’t we apply the same principle in a relationship?
“Perfect love cast out fear”
May I say this, if indeed its God, then false evidence appearing real should not have a place in you. You may say, I know it’s God’s choice but I can’t explain the resistance or that I have no idea of what you went through. Well I could try to defend the later with the fact that lots of people have had terrible, horrifying experiences in past relationship, whereas the former are probably simply taking other peoples panadol [Jhehehe! guilty] and this has completely left both ‘EXPERIENCEES’ commitment scared. [There are some “YELLOW LIGHTERS” who move to the point of having strange resentment for the opposite sex, well that’s for another time.]
If any of above mentioned sets describes you, then am pleased to tell you that you’re 120% wrongJ. Need I tell you that, if your relationship typifies other peoples own, then you need check into that? God is not out of ‘love stories’; everyone would experience a unique one if you allow him be the organizer. So I know that my love story would never and can never be the same as my past or even yours [mine would be best actually J hehehe]
Do you know that fear can actually drive you from a right relationship into a wrong one? [God forbid]. Resist fear, it should never have a place in your life as a believer. If God gives you his approval, then I say;
READY > SET>>>>>>>>>>>>>> GO

3.  “PICKY”

So you sit down with a big grinJ, thinking of all the glory days when men/women flocked around you or your seated with a straight faceK looking at all the over matured spinsters/bachelors and wondering what happened, how did they get this old without somebody, anybody? Well I can tell you one reason from the other obvious;
>>>TOO PICKY<<<
You know the Cinderella & prince charming list? How he/she should look like? Yea! That list! do away with it. Especially if deep within you know you don’t þcheck for 2/10. [Please kindly refer to previous blog post on “Baggage Claim” both the part 1&2]
Your criteria for choosing a life partner should be nothing other but completely based on God’s unfailing word. As a lady, no Man on this planet earth is perfect, so deal with it.
Yes you’re a man who is physical,
“it’s better to live on the roof top than share a house with a nagging annoying {beautifully perfect} woman” [that’s a deal breaker yea? J]
Anything physical can be dealt with [perfume #nasty#, mouth odour #nastiest#, clothing etc.] or overlooked if beyond change [height, eyes, lips etc.] so long as that person displays the qualities listed in Baggage claim part 1&2? I say to you;

READY > SET>>>>>>>>>>>>>> GO

4.   AMBITIOUS

These set of “YELLOW LIGHTERS” are actually the funniest, like what? K. Need I tell you that there’s no number of certificates or amount of money just enough to guarantee that you’ll have a successful relationship.
Relationship is like two individuals going to cultivate a farm. Don’t get me wrong, am not saying money isn’t important, but it’s a relationship, you two are getting to know each other’s strength and weakness. It’s all about building your life together. Get to know each other at your early days, except of-cause for “runz babes” and men who rather want a “trophy wife”, other than that, if this category describes you, then i say;

READY > SET>>>>>>>>>>>>>> GO

5.   “WAITERS”

Permit me to take a good laugh and bow to this particular set of “YELLOW LIGHTERS” Jhehehe! Like seriously? I know this is the usual term used, well, for some its true and I totally encourage that, but for other’s? It’s just a cover up of the fact that they have commitment issues. Job said “I’ll wait upon the lord till my change comes” but are you really waiting for God’s choice or scared or worst weighing option? K
Please if you find a green lighter and he/she happens to be Gods choice for you, i.e too say, they qualify for a Godly partner, do me a favor and dive in with all confidence, the wait is over, don’t be so picky and wait until the change comes and returns even. If this describes you, then I’ll say again;
READY > SET>>>>>>>>>>>>>> GO 
 

I’ll leave you with these daring loving words, that
“UNTIL YOU LEARN TO LOVE ABOVE YOU, YOU’LL NEVER FIND LOVE” shalom!!!

Estie LOVES you!

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